by Bridget Carney, PhD, RN
Bridget Carney is system director for ethics for PeaceHealth, headquartered in Bellevue, Washington. She prepared this reflection for an ecumenical vespers service honoring health care professionals for the vigil of St. Luke at the Cathedral of the Family, Anchorage, Alaska in October 2005.
Jesus sent the appointed out two by two to heal the sick…
As health care professionals we see ourselves as individuals who are sent out to heal.
Sent to be present, sent to be a healing presence and to be a sign of hope to the patients and families we work with on a daily basis
I want to tell you a story that challenges us to think differently about what it means to heal, to be present, and to be a sign of hope in the midst of disease, pain, suffering, living, and dying.
In the 1980s I worked as an oncology nurse at a busy university research hospital. One year, during the Christmas holidays, the oncology unit was closed for remodeling. Patients were relocated to other units throughout the hospital. I, as one of the nursing staff, was floated to different units every day wherever our patients were. We were short staffed over the holidays and so in order to insure that the oncology patients were cared for by 8 South nurses many of us worked double shifts. On December 23rd, I worked a very busy day shift and learned in the middle of the day that there were no oncology nurses for our patients for evening shift on the cardiac unit. So I agreed to double shift even though I was exhausted and I wanted to be home with family preparing for Christmas.
A chaotic day blended into a very busy evening shift with no time for a break for dinner. I entered Ron Scott’s room about 7:30 in the evening. I knew him well. He had been diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 52 and was in the hospital for another round of chemotherapy treatment. During this admission he developed an infection requiring intravenous antibiotics. As I went about hanging his antibiotic, I was not as fully present to him as I could be. I rushed about doing my work and making small talk. I was tired and in a hurry. I simply wanted to hang his medication so that I could get on with my work as I was behind and would be all evening.
“Bridget?” Ron stopped me as I was hanging the antibiotic. “Didn’t you work day shift?”
“Yes, I did” I replied. “And I’m working evenings because there are no 8 south nurses here tonight”
“Have you had dinner?” he asked.
“No, it’s been kind of busy.” There was a brief pause as I hung the antibiotic.
Then he said in a commanding voice that was not to be dismissed, “Sit down right now!” He handed me an orange that was on his bedside stand and said, “You will not leave my room until you have eaten this orange and stayed with me sitting for 15 minutes. If I don’t take care of you, you can’ take care of me.”
I did as he requested.
And that orange sustained me the rest of the shift.
I went home and spent Christmas with family and welcomed in the New Year. That Spring Ron died.
Ron and I were sent out, two by two to heal the sick. Neither Ron nor I wanted to be there that evening, yet we were companions, brought together by circumstance, sent to be a healing presence and a sign of hope.
Both of us were suffering for what we love. Ron, like many patients, was suffering as he pursued treatment for his disease so that he could live and love those nearest to him. I, like many health care professionals, was suffering through my long days of work for the love of patients, such as Ron, who needed me to be a sign of hope for them.
We both needed compassion, to be accompanied in our suffering. We were able to share a simple meal, an orange, and for a few minutes share our suffering and support each other, so that we could continue our journeys.
Being a Healing Presence
Both Ron and I needed healing—both of us needed to be whole. We needed a healing presence.
I was present as an oncology nurse that evening, but I wasn’t a healing presence for Ron until he pulled me up short and said, sit down and be present. Be still. Be present to yourself. Be present to me! Take care of yourself. As health care professionals that is often hard for us to do in an environment where productivity and workloads often take precedence.
Being A Sign of Hope
As a health care professional, a nurse, I was a sign of hope for Ron and the many patients like him. He trusted me as a familiar face, someone who knew him. I was with him through the suffering and pain of treatment, the joy of remission, and the disappointment of relapsing and more chemotherapy. I did not abandon him.
As health care professionals, when we do not abandon patients in their pain, their suffering, and their living and dying, we give them a reason to hope, not necessarily for cure, but for healing. We then are a healing presence for our companions on the journey.
Ron was a sign of hope for me, as so many patients are for health care professionals, because he fought to live life to its fullest despite his disease, never letting his disease stop him from giving to those around him. He fought to live so that he could love his wife, his children, and his friends. And he expected all of us as health care professionals to help him achieve that goal. He wanted and needed our healing presence.
Thus, as health care professionals, yes, we are healers but also we are in need of healing.
We are a healing presence to our patients, but our patients are also a source of healing for us. And finally, we are a sign of hope for patients in their pain, suffering, living, and dying. And they, too, are a sign of hope for us as we watch them living life to its fullest, knowing that to be healed does not necessarily mean to be cured.
So as we are sent out two by two to heal the sick, remember one is the healer, the healing presence, and the sign of hope. And one is healed. But who that is, is ever changing.
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Healing Presence: being consciously and compassionately in the present moment with someone, believing and affirming their potential for wholeness wherever they are in life. (Miller and Cutshall, 2001)